Well Hello There!
It has been a wild, unpredictable and rock 'n' roll kind of month. I'm very behind on my writing as I have been riding the cosmic wave of all of my personal and introspective existential adventures. I am still in a fog for the most part and processing how the changes of a cross country move have affected me as 3/31 marks FIVE months in my new city! I am still flinching looking at that number because it doesn't make sense. It is all I had been working towards for a long time and now here I am in it and I am still not perfect, I still have problems, still have some karma to burn (and a new line of candles that I unveiled at a show recently) and even though I'm starting to get everything I want, it's still a trip and kinda fucked up if you ask me.
The good news is a lot of my floating that I desperately needed (to decompress as a human being and reset my self care ways) has taken place. I would say it's not at 100% but at a consistent improvement and while it may be natural and very easy for most people to choose what feels good - sometimes I don't have this down pat because for a long time I would eat food and drinks that were destroying my body but I didn't care because I liked the taste and how they made me feel because they felt and tasted good. It was also stress relief for me not realizing how it was actually causing more stress to my daily habits and routine. It's been a long journey and I'm still not there. I have food allergies and like to ignore them as if rules don't apply to me and I won't have reactions.
I practice moderation and know my body responds better (especially to my workouts when I'm eating best). The series of eclipses we are releasing definitely hit home to this theme of being healthy because even a few days ago when I tried to get away with an "I feel like eating nachos because I want to be rebellious and test this shit moment", I was in severe pain with reflux for over 12 hours. Thank you eclipse. I got the message. I have to exercise more caution so I don't pay for it with pain. I still love fucking nachos so this is so hard for me. (I know this is not an actual problem of major significance & I have no true complaints because I am very blessed in my life but when you lack self control in some areas it becomes problematic for me).
I have always believed in the power of the universe and would always get what I want. To be faced with many of these challenges of not getting what I want over four years is a long time (of course relatively short and a blip on the radar in the grand scheme of my life / past lives). To tell me I can't do something when I've always done what I wanted is not cool. I get now that yes you can't always get what you want - but you do get what you need. I suppose I'm always some sort of an underground rebel and spirit fighter but I'm waving my white flag slowly and am like OK I'll change my crazy ways - you got me! I will start to cooperate even though this is so weird. I cook more too and don't go out to eat or to bars all the time. Is this my new normal? I guess so...
With the arrival of all of my belongings a few weeks ago this affected me more than I thought. I was accustomed to living out of suitcases and quite liked having minimal things to worry about / take care of even in my current house that I've been in for 3 months. It was definitely eye opening as I had more than I needed in New York - although I never felt that way when I lived there. My office is still a mess and I can't wait to purge & clean. I'm Virgo sun / rising natally. Can't you tell? HAHA
On the work and The Muse Crypt entrepreneurial standpoint - I have not secured new clients for readings (this was more happening in NYC) so am going to suspend that activity for the time being. My products were well received this past month at Artists & Fleas Venice & Downtown LA and even the fact that I transported, set up and showcased my work is amazing as I've always known I've wanted to do this -but couldn't believe that I was actually doing it and yes there is just as much if not more work involved with this type of endeavor - much more than corporate America and now almost one year to the date that I walked away - I'm still questioning if I go back or really what the right balance is for me here. In the meantime if you'd like to support and check out my products, click on Shop. I need to add a few tee shirts to the queue. I'm super low on inventory for cards but with demand, I can secure additional printings : ).
I have also enjoyed helping to watch my friend's children occasionally as additional help to them and of course love writing for Beautify Earth. Any other attempts at freelance for agencies or related work have fallen flat including attempts to do retail. The market is much harder than I anticipated. However I have faith, some savings and know this is part of my journey as an independent spiritual & lifestyle maven. I am reconnecting with my medium mentor soon so we will continue to explore there.
Through all of this experimentation I am finally feeling like I'm ready to merge my worlds and move forward with my endeavors and love for transformation, spirituality, healing, music, writing, Feng Shui and styling as I am getting my grounding with a roof over my head, car and support system. It's been over 20 years since I haven't "worked" and I do love working. I've relished this time over the past few months to get my bearings again, identify my next steps (still working on it) and being me. Not always easy but I try. The biggest lessons I've learned have been to lighten up, cry when I need to and smile. I am after all but a student in life. What do I know. What do any of us really know.
Thank you for all of your support and encouragement as I continue my journey in Los Angeles. And thank you always for listening, checking in and believing in me. I still also love astrology so much and want to study there more. I have to be better about scheduling time for my passions which as I mentioned I feel I'm about in the position to do so. It is always infinitely easier to do this for other people than it is to do for myself. I know April - June will be a bit crazy in itself so I'm trying to prepare myself with systems and routines so I can do the best I can - while also remaining flexible, healthy and open to change, mystery and that so called silver lining.
I want to make working out and writing more of a daily must do.
I'm gonna see what shakes out.
Have a great evening & hope that you have survived / are surviving the eclipses and taking care of yourself and those you love.
The Muse Crypt
Below is a pic of some of my photography, candles, cards, tees, & accessories that I showcased at Artists & Fleas earlier this month! I'm working on selecting dates for my next shows in April & May. Most of my products are also online on my site under the Shop navigation (currently defaulting to my Cards category).
PS I've gone to Town Hall in Manhattan Beach to inquire about the photo (of what looks like me, my mom & Grandma) from my last post. I'm still waiting to hear back if they have any possible information.